You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
