you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
