Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Randomize
