i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
shes trying to book us all flights to Ireland..I let her get mine and yours but stopped her when she tried booking the guy next to her at the library
I keep hearing lesbian porn and I'm the only one home. I don't think this is healthy
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
