Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
Randomize
