my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Ps. The strap-on in the pic i sent you last night was not mine. Just wanted to clear that up.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
There's no good way to say, "sorry your son saw me naked on top of your brother"
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Randomize
