A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
My dad just said "fuck circus"
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Randomize
