Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
