Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize