We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Are we still banned from the library?
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
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