You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
