Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Randomize
