Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
I have to keep checking she's breathing. This is why we don't drink on Sundays
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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