oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
I threw up off of your balcony and it must have been loud because the dog downstairs went insane.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
Randomize
