The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Birthday Coupon: This text is good for alteast 3 hours of Birthday Sex. Redeamable any time, anywhere, and any style.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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