I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Be still, my beating vagina.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
