sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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