as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
How the hell can the Olympic committee frown so much on weed and yet put on a show you would have to be high to actually enjoy?
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
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