I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
