I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
