I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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