As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Randomize
