you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize