We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
He came over last night and as soon as we started having sex Siri announced "you've arrived at your destination." I think it was some kinda sign
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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