i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
