I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Just got my first unemployment direct deposit!!!' celebrating at the beach
Me toooooo!! Margaritas
I never knew being a drain on a functioning society would feel so good
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I’m going to bedazzle that dick
What does that even mean
No idea, but I guarantee he’ll get hard every time he remembers it
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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