I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
