I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I mean I want to be happy but it's a train wreck that you can't look away from
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
