only you would photoshop your dick
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Randomize
