All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I totally just potholed and almost crashed while trying to lick salsa off my boob.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I had to cum in my sink.
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