I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Randomize