She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Xanax, wine, and giving the neighbor blue balls. How about you?
Jesus, it’s Tuesday morning! Not back stage with Motley Crew
Randomize
