does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize