Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
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