We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Randomize
