Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I need water and some morals
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
