i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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