More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Someone came in the potted fern
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
