i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
You really realize what your life's become when you're sitting alone in the house crying in a santa hat and pjs getting stoned on christmas eve before noon.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
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