wat bout pragnant strippers??
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I haven't been this sober since birth.
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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