Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
Randomize
