"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
she screamed "my eye!" and it brought me a surge of bad memories. except she was yelling about a lemon.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
