i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Do you know how fucking great a bath bomb is when you're high?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
Randomize
