38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
