Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize
