i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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