At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
I'm about to play Thunderstruck by myself, that way I'll always get the long thunder part.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
Randomize
