Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
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