We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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