Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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