I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
