I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
Randomize
