So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
