Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
Randomize
