Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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